Hello Dear One,
I’m looking out to a white-grey sky following a day of sudden, ceaseless rain. Moods can be like this, sudden, consuming and hard to see past.
Yesterday morning I posted about priorities, which I intended to write about today, drafting a letter I hit delete on at 5.27 am, so I better be speedy. Prioritising is, of course, helpful, but I have an override function that brings the whole system to stop - like the big red button in films. Last night, when I found myself weeping on the bathroom floor, it was time to press it.
When you’ve had a really bad breakdown mini moments like this are little flares, a sign all might not be well. And that’s ok. For those new to the letter, welcome. I’m in the process of leaving the city I’ve lived in for two decades to pursue a dream I’ve had for longer. It’s exciting and absolutely right, but also hard and uncertain. Plus, while I trust my path, there’s disappointment that life hasn’t worked out here as I would have liked.
My priority will always be to accept myself as I am, instead of pushing uncomfortable emotions away. I’m currently on a cacao course with Sam Kleman, where we share how we’re feeling each week. I’m proud of how willing I’ve been to show up exactly as I am, to say in front of a virtual room of strangers, that things are hard or overwhelming, or I’m grappling with limiting beliefs. To tell the truth. And no, it’s not wallowing - it’s making sense of experiences, honouring them.
When we keep our suffering to ourselves it isolates us, and isolation causes more suffering. All emotions need to be felt and understood, not shamed and rejected. It’s more than ok to feel, to cry, to scream. It might make others uncomfortable, or it could inspire them to be more vulnerable. What I know is this: I can only hold space for others when I first hold space for myself.
I hope it helps. If you need more on self-compassion try this - it can feel sticky to start with. You can also add an affirmation, something to repeat to yourself. Mine is - Love and possibility over fear.
Life isn’t all sunshine and rainbows, but there are sunshine and rainbows. My favourite fact about rainbows is that they happen when it’s cloudy in one part of the sky and sunny in another. We can be all kinds of things, all at once, and beautiful.
Thanks for being here and being you.
All love,
Jo
EMERGE EVOLVED - I’m collaborating with the wonderful Rachel Ellen Yoga on a nourishing yoga and writing workshop on Sunday 16th May, 10am-12pm. We’ve designed this to fall the day before restrictions ease in Scotland again, though you are so welcome to join from anywhere, to help you ground, release and move forward.
SECRET PROJECT - I’ve been working with wonderful writer and friend Lauren McMenemy on a top-secret project and we’re ready to launch! Tune in on Instagram at 6pm GMT to find out more.
And if this letter made a difference to your day share it, leave a comment or buy me a coffee on Ko-fi. Thanks so much to all my wonderful supporters over the last few weeks.
"When we keep our suffering to ourselves it isolates us, and isolation causes more suffering. All emotions need to be felt and understood, not shamed and rejected. It’s more than ok to feel, to cry, to scream. It might make others uncomfortable, or it could inspire them to be more vulnerable. What I know is this: I can only hold space for others when I first hold space for myself." I think this is my new favorite quote - it resonated through every fibre of my being. Thank you for putting it into such beautiful and inspiring words x
Biggest of big bear hugs to you, lovely Jo x