Write to Explore Who You Are
Hello Dear One,
How are you? It’s one of those questions that, if we’re honest, never unearths the same answer. The word ‘fine’ should be scrapped from our vocabulary.
There’s something that’s been bugging me about last week: I didn’t tell the whole truth. For those who are new to the letter, welcome. I wrote about a friend giving me a Little Miss Sunshine sign as a teenager, which contradicted how I felt. When I think about that time in my life I remember being miserable. But I knew something was missing from that story. While I grew adept at hiding my depression I’ve always found it notoriously hard to fake how I feel. (In my twenties I worked in PR, wanting to do something creative and related to writing, not yet brave enough to write. I remember coming out of a meeting and discussing one of the ideas presented. ‘I didn’t like it,’ I said to my boss. ‘I could tell by your face,’ she replied. I fogged with embarrassment; no one wants to be rude.)
I told the Little Miss Sunshine story to illustrate that you should never pretend to feel something you don’t. Not here, in your writing, your most honest self-dialogue. But if I was smiling amongst my friends I was genuinely smiling. Maybe not all the time, but some of it. There was suffering at that time in my life, but there was also joy. There is always complexity and nuance, which, like this letter, take a little longer to work out.
One of the ways writing for myself has transformed my life, along with counselling, is it makes me dig deep. I often realise what I’m telling myself may not be true. This week I wanted to encourage you to think about the labels we give ourselves, how quick we are to push ourselves into ‘I am this’ and ‘I’m not that.’ While these may help us feel safe in the short term they often stick around too long. They risk taking our vibrancy, keeping us stuck when we could be hurtling along. We now have an additional challenge: an online reality in which algorithms define us, letting us see only what they think we’ll like. But human beings are not one-dimensional. We are born to grow. And the only person that gets to decide who or what you are is you.
A trigger warning here–these prompts might bring up some things. Take your time and step away if you need to. Perhaps they bring an invitation to deeper work. Or, this might be breezy–a celebration of the labels you used to apply to yourself and no longer do. I’m getting there with that. Breathe into it. Notice how you feel in your body. Encourage yourself to follow tangents of thought. Let go of perfect handwriting, spelling, judging your writing. And when you forget, remind yourself. Be kind.
And exhale. It’s interesting to reflect on the labels that we want to shake off, and those we want to embody. At the end you can use an ‘I am’ or ‘May I statement’ to affirm this - for example ‘May I be confident’, writing it out several times. Let me know if it helps.
Remember that you are multifaceted and evolving: you are limitless.
Thanks for being here and being you.
All love,
Jo
NEWS!
I’m running a workshop on the 29th of October, 7pm via Zoom and I’d love to see you there. It’s a sweet hour of guided writing for self-care, designed to leave you feeling lighter. Email hellojoannebell@gmail.com for further details and/or to book.
I took part in a wonderful small business initiative and recorded a short practice which you can view for free and bag yourself a discount for my workshop. It’s ideal if you’re feeling anxious or overwhelmed.
Finally if you’re enjoying this newsletter, published free every Tuesday, comment on this post, follow me on Instagram or tell a friend.