Write to Go Back to Basics
Hello Dear One,
It feels like an hour since I last wrote you a letter, yet I’ve driven 250 miles north, to start a year of creativity, imagination and creating things. At my parent’s house. I’m waiting for a moment where I think: how did I end up here? Waiting, essentially, to freak out.
Yet, in the moment I’m happy, even excited.
How are you?
A few years ago this question made a friend burst into tears. ‘I’m sorry,’ she said. ‘It’s just…no one ever asks me.’ This struck me: someone I thought had it together holding so much in. I’ve learnt since then, mostly through opening up about my mental health, that nobody is ok all of the time. We live in ebbs and flows.
What helps is keeping an eye on ourselves. As you may know I ask myself how I am daily. Sometimes I noodle around the answer, sometimes I’m bored by it, sometimes I simply don’t know. But the process helps me to avoid assumptions, to stay open.
Since leaving Edinburgh I’ve been writing, fluidly and for longer. I’ve felt pulled towards using this space for my thoughts, even if I’m unsure what will surface. Especially if I am. However, I still find myself writing flippant statements, or getting caught up in old beliefs. For someone who advocates the opposite you have to wonder: what’s that about?
It’s about being human. It’s hard to be honest with ourselves 100% of the time. Sometimes we don’t know what the truth looks like until it comes out in a therapy room, a conversation with a friend, or on the page. Sometimes we hold back because of what honesty will mean: inconvenience, hassle, change. We fear pressing for adjustments, speaking our needs. Sometimes these changes are seismic: ending relationships, careers, life plans. On other occasions they’re smaller: asking for support; changing routines; establishing boundaries.
What helps me is remembering this: holding things in is worse for everyone. When I tune into myself I preempt overwhelm, process experiences and calm anxiety. I show up how I want to show up. On the page I catch falsehoods by drawing an arrow and labelling them NOT TRUE. Then, I scribble down something real.
This week is about going back to basics: just writing. Seeing the things you’re telling yourself and the things you’re not saying. I’m handing you my daily routine in the hope you’ll take at least a little time, on perhaps one of the days, to give yourself space.
If you resist – perhaps seeking something action-orientated or directed - ask yourself why. Lean into the resistance and ask - what about this don’t I like?
I hope it helps. Go gently and remember you are safe. You can tear up the words afterwards: this is a place of process.
Thanks for being here and being you.
All love,
Jo
PS I listened to this song in my car and, well, it’s just lovely…
AND Thank you for reading this letter.
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